Blaglash.com

Why is it difficult to write the words (where someone else might read them) “I am a feminist”?  When I say or write these words I am worried someone would make fun of me, berate me, or invalidate my argument.  I really wonder sometimes why appeals for feminism have to be prefaced with caveats and qualifiers.  “I am a feminist but…”  “I know being a feminist is…”  “I wish being a feminist was…”  And here is why I’m worried about being a feminist in public.  People have made fun of me for it before. 

But now I am living the discrimination that has become normalized in American society- working in an office environment with men who think it is alright to favor other men.  In my younger collegiate and coffee shop working life, I would have rallied against this insidious and ligering form of sexism.  I would have offered someone in my position words of support, and encouraged them to confront the situation, but when you are living this situation it is notas easy.

It isn’t easy to confront anyone you see on a daily basis, but for some reason this situation is more sensitive and delicate than others.  If someone at the office steals my food it’s no big deal, and while it’s annoying and I’ll say “Who stole my candy bar?” the situation will not escalate; cannot involve HR reps, will not result in hurt feelings.  But if I said “You are being sexist” people would get defensive, someone would have to fill out a report, I might get some sort of e-mail- not to mention the fact that the people in the office would start talking.  And talking about me and my “problem”.

And while I’ve dealt with this sexism for almost a year, now I am seeing it in a whole new light.  This light is showing me that sexism is not just wrong but it’s potentially damaging to a woman’s professional life.  And this realization is all new to me.  Sexism can result in me not getting my incentive bonus.  It could stop me from getting a raise.  It could result in not getting a vacation day I wanted. 

And here is where the problem can be fixed.  To many people, sexism is equivalent to sexual harassment, the physical and sexual version of sexism.  The corporate world is now indoctrinated and trained to combat sexual harassment.  Mention sexual harassment and eyes enlarge, mouths turn into O’s and people start to use big words.  But when you say the word misogyny some might think you’ve made it up.

The subtleties of sexism can be taught alongside sexual harassment.  Policies can be made and enforced- the progress of sexual harassment prosecution and prevention has shown us that. 

My experience hasn’t been harrowing or harmful.  But it’s been enlightening and also annoying.  It’s hard to go into work everyday where you don’t feel comfortable or welcome, where you are outnumbered by men 3:1 and those men know it and act accordingly.  Where your boss thinks it’s okay for your co-worker to be “forgetful” but yells at you for not putting a disk in its case.  To get e-mail fowards in which the punch line is “aren’t women crazy?!?!?” and hearing everyone laugh when they read it.  It’s weird to be exposed to this and to still be nervous about talking about it.