Blaglash.com

My two favorite characters on MTV’s The Hills are Lo and Lauren.  I have recently become addcited to this qausi-reality show; hopping on the train late in its third season.  I was late to Laguna Beach and now I’m late to the Hills, but that means I get to watch a whole day’s worth of banalities; effectively wasting my time and making new friends.  Becuase that’s what MTV wants, right?  To make you feel like you KNOW the characters in this series.If you watch people at their most boring, does that mean you know them?  Because watching the Hills is like being a fly on the wall at some chick’s apartment.  Sure, Lauren’s friends are dumber than the average person, but we get to watch them chew and stare off into space.  It’s like you’re there, at their table.  Chewing and staring.  Because the characters are in a constant state of going out to eat at restaurants the producers pick and pay for. 

Seeing people like Audrina and Heidi struggle to deliver the lines you KNOW the producers were like “make sure you say…” is heartrending.  For example, Audrina had a “talk” with Lauren about being room mates and finally, you hear the drama inducing line, amid many pauses and eye flicks of course: “I just feel like Lo is the one making us awkward” or something.  And Lauren cries while Audrina like, licks her lips and holds a really shiny book that has obviously never been opened.

It’s like everything everyone hates about high school, but with grown ass men and women who all look exactly alike if you squint.  The friendships are the exact same- loyalties, lipstick sharing, and fights over boys.  The all or nothing attitude of uncompromising women with nary a real experience.  And the whole drama between Hiedi and Lauren- manufactured bullshit that is obviously fake because hey- look- they’re in pictures together ALL THE TIME.  The relationships with the boy-men are the same too: parties, squeeling, and awkward car rides home from the restaurant (fancy places though, instead of Denny’s.) 

Nevermind that I am jealous of Whitney and Lauren’s fashion jobs or that the weather is always perfect, I actually really hate these people and wonder how they feel about their dichotomic lives.  I mean, the show is supposed to be real, and it is obviously staged, but that means they live staged lives.  They don’t earn their jobs, they don’t pay rent and they get paid just to be filmed.  That is just like, weird, and fascinating, so when season four starts I will be following right along.